지난 글에서는 Part 1: The Intellectual Curiosity Essay, Part 2: Roomie와 Part 3: Personal Essay에 대해서 다뤘어요.
지난글 링크
스탠포드 전입학사정관이 말하는 24/25 스탠포드 에세이 작성법 PART 1
스탠포드 전입학사정관이 말하는 24/25 스탠포드 에세이 작성법 PART 2
스탠포드 전입학사정관이 말하는 24/25 스탠포드 에세이 작성법 PART 3
Stanford’s Essay 예시
스탠포드는 3.6~4.6%의 입학률을 보이는 굉장히 경쟁율이 높은 학교인거 알고 계시죠? 합격을 위해서는 가능한 영역 내에서 최대한 완벽에 가까워야 해요. 커먼앱, 코얼리션앱과 더불어 24/25 스탠포드는 3개의 짧은 보충 에세이를 다음의 영역에서 답하도록 요구하고 있어요. 해당 영역의 예시들을 각각 확인해볼게요.
The Intellectual Curiosity Essay 예시
The Stanford community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning. (250 words)
When taking Abnormal Psychology freshman year, I was fascinated to learn that my family’s stoic attitude under stress stems from culture's influence on human behavior. The course concluded, but I hungered to learn more about culture’s connections with the mind. Sunlit days crept into moonlit nights as I learned that culture impacts visual perception (that’s why East Asian websites are more “cluttered” than Western ones) and influences decision-making (such as through a focus on collectivism or individualism). Some cultures even have unique disorders, like ataque de nervios, a panic disorder in Latinx patients. I fell in love with reading about culture influencing cognition and plunging into the science explaining it.
My fascination led me to conduct two independent studies assessing mental health apps’ cultural competency and the DSM’s cultural elements. I was mesmerized by case studies like one about a Japanese woman, “M,” who was misdiagnosed with depression instead of adult separation anxiety because her psychiatrists didn’t factor in the cultural context of her immigration story. While assembling my papers, I grappled with even more questions. How do sociocultural frames of reference influence the way mental illness is treated? How can technology provide more equitable access to mental health care?
If I’ve learned anything from theater and literature, it is that context deeply affects how humans think and act. Sherlocking the connections between culture and cognition and analyzing their impact on science, medicine, and design doesn’t just feed my curiosity; it energizes my soul.
The Roommate Essay 예시
Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate—and us—get to know you better.
Dear Roommate,
My bedroom is my refuge, and I hope ours will be the same. Through immersive design, there are countless possibilities to personalize our room. All it takes is the simple command: “Alexa, it’s Christmas time,” and we teleport from a hot, stuffy room in June to a winter wonderland. The ceiling lights turn red and green, Christmas lights begin to sparkle, “Jingle Bells” bounces through the speakers, and The Christmas Story is cued. My friends giddily sing along to Christmas carols, and we joke about Alexa’s unquestioning loyalty. When my friend [Name Redacted] got dumped last summer, he asked for “Christmas time” in my room to cheer him up. And when my basketball team won the semi-finals, we said “Alexa, it’s party time” and celebrated as disco lights whirled and “Bohemian Rhapsody” blasted. We have a command for (almost) every occasion. Rigging my room has brought laughter and joy into the lives of friends and family and is something I look forward to doing with you. We can learn about each other while we set up our room. Whether it’s our music, lights, jokes, or auto-stocked products, I’m excited to create a room that reflects both of our identities, cultural backgrounds, and humor. In our spare time, I also look forward to taking a hiatus from indoors to head out to surf, play basketball, or plan spikeball matches on the oval. Whether we’re indoors or out, I can’t wait to get to know you. “Alexa, it’s Cardinal time.”
The Personal Essay 예시
Please describe what aspects of your life experiences, interests and character would help you make a distinctive contribution as an undergraduate to Stanford University. (250 words)
Starling murmurations move synchronously, traveling across oceans. Each bird focuses on supporting its seven neighbors, which lets over a million birds fly at once. [Organization Redacted] is my murmuration. Growing up, my passion for Taylor Swift songs (“Red” is still a bop!) morphed into a love for opera. However, when I joined the [Organization Redacted] Opera, though other queer artists surrounded me, I quickly realized I was one of two people of color in the room. I cherished how opera let me tell stories through music, but the stories didn’t represent me.
So, I joined [Organization Redacted], where I’m surrounded by starlings telling the stories of marginalized communities. At [Organization Redacted], I learned how to create art centered around the decolonialist principles of sustainability and equity. I learned through outreach events on [Place Redacted] how art brings glimmers of joy into the eyes of children and elders alike. I learned through working on “[Redacted Content],” which showcased the aftermath of George Floyd’s murder, how art unites people and creates social change. I was finally surrounded by artists like me, who tell stories about blazing our path in a society that often silences BIPOC and queer voices.
At Stanford, I hope to become a student fellow with the IDA to spotlight marginalized voices. Within the IDA, I’d connect my fervor for music with my passion for analyzing STEM’s impact on society by designing and collaborating on an opera with my peers about data justice or colonialism’s negative impacts on South Asian healthcare.
합격한 에세이들의 예시에서 잘 나타나듯 좋은 에세이가 갖춰야할 구성들을 모두 포함하면서 실수가 잦은 영역에서의 실수를 최소화 한 것을 볼 수 있어요. 처음부터 완벽한 에세이를 작성한다는 것은 불가능하기 때문에 여러 번 검토해가며 실수하는 영역은 없는지 다시 한 번 확인하는 것이 중요하겠죠?
에세이 작성이라는 여정에서 각각의 질문들에 대해 투어를 하고, 해당 영역에서 요구하는 것과 만들면 안될 실수들에 유의하며 글을 작성해본다면 어느덧 잘 짜여진 에세이가 완성될거에요.
전문가의 도움이 필요하신가요?
에세이 작성은 여러 사람의 '전문가적' 의견을 받아보는 것이 제일 중요해요. 특히 글을 바라봄에 있어 입학사정관들이 주요하게 보는 포인트와 일반인이보는 포인트는 확연하게 차이가 나타나요. 그렇기때문에 크림슨 에듀케이션의 에세이 검토 서비스가 등장했어요. 지금 바로 신청하고 합격률 5배를 높여보세요!